Monday, January 7, 2013

Still A Dinosaur

Despite my very best efforts, it appears I’m still a phone dinosaur. I bought my new iPhone on New Year’s Day, hoping to step officially into the 21st Century. My daughter spent about an hour showing me the ropes and helped me set up my contacts. Then, she went on her merry way and left me to fend for myself. I’ve given it my very best effort, but seriously, I’ve been a bit depressed ever since I got my fancy schmancy new phone. I miss my humble little not-so-smart phone. I felt no pressure to be techno savvy. We were just down-to-earth little buddies. I thought if I named my new phone, I would bond with it. I named her Betsy, but still haven’t formed a connection. I’ve added some free apps... still not bonding. I know I don’t hold my iPhone like a pro... doing everything with one thumb. Molly could probably bench press 500 pounds with her texting thumb. She really has some mad skills! I hold my phone with one hand, and text with my pinky. I’m sure that’s bad phone form, but the letters and numbers are so tiny. How do men manage it? I feel like I’m texting with ping pong paddles. I took my car to Jiffy Lube for an oil change yesterday. While waiting, I tried playing Spider Solitaire. I sort of got the hang of it. Yay for me and my apparently giant fingers! I was starting to feel hopeful that I would master my phone. Then at lunch today, Molly called. I kept saying “Hello... hello...” but she wouldn’t answer. I finally realized I was receiving a text, not a call. What a total dumbass! In my defense, I changed all my ringers, bells and whistles. I have no clue anymore what noise goes with what. Let me just say, today I took several giant steps backwards in my quest for hipness. I haven’t given up yet though. I have too much invested in this whole process to throw in the towel. Besides, I may have discovered a new past time - ping pong! Don’t need paddles... I got my own. Now I just need a ball and a table...

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