As a child, I used to watch in fascination as my teachers erased their blackboards. I suspected something wasn’t right with any teacher who missed a spot or erased willy-nilly. In high school, I was in a math class taught by Sister Claire Assisi. She was easily a thousand years old, and I was terrified of her. One day before class, I came into the room to find Sister very slowly waving one of those really long erasers about six inches from the blackboard. I missed the part beforehand where she had wiped the board with a wet cloth, so just figured her brilliant mind had finally snapped. It took me a while to realize she was merely drying the blackboard before class. I hate to admit that I was a teensy bit disappointed Sister wouldn’t be carted off in a straight jacket. Some years later, my blackboard eraser fascination transferred to something new - the ice rink Zamboni machine. I could watch this vehicle all day. It’s so gratifying to see the ice get all shiny and new. I wonder if it’s as pleasant for the driver. Does he feel pressure, with the eyes of the world on his every move? I’ve heard there is a Zamboni Fantasy Camp. How awesome would that be? I’m not too certain, though, that I could handle driving this machine. I’m an OK automobile driver, and probably wouldn’t get all road ragey atop a Zamboni. However, I am seriously challenged when it comes to parking and totally suck at backing up. Perhaps there’s a Remedial Zamboni Fantasy Camp. I wrote an essay a few years ago, in an attempt to win a chance to drive the Wienermobile. I secretly knew this would be a bad idea, but damn... that would’ve been fabulous. My sweet ride... mobile lunchmeat. Still waiting for that flying car I thought we’d all be driving by now. Hmmmm...
(Note: Unbeknownst to me as I wrote this, today is the 112th birthday of Frank Zamboni, inventor of my beloved ice cleaning machine. How cosmic is that?)
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