Monday, March 11, 2013

If I Were Invisible

My mind was wandering today, as it does. I said to myself “Self, what would you do if you were invisible?”. This was something I’ve always thought would be awesome, but put on the spot, I didn’t have an immediate answer. In the seven Harry Potter books, the Invisibility Cloak was my favorite thing. I so wanted to go to wizard school and get me one of those. So now, faced with the question, I had no ready answer. For sure, I wouldn’t do anything illegal or mean. I’m not that kind of person, even in my fantasies. I would, though, be mischievous and maybe just a teensy bit not nice. For starters, I’d visit my least-favorite checker at the grocery store. She is a Debby Downer, very negative and mutters about what her co-workers are doing that she doesn’t like. A real biatch. I think the Invisible Me would thump her on the head a couple times or maybe pull her bangs a bit. It might be fun to find a swimming pool where kids are playing Marco Polo, and holler a few of my own Polos. For sure, weapon-toting NRA guys protesting gun reform would mysteriously be missing their bullets. Tee hee. My current invisible fantasy involves a trip to the Vatican. I would find my way to the Holy Smokestack, which is awaiting the magical voting for the new pope. I think it would be awesome to dump a bunch of pink glitter into the works just to mess with the results. Imagine all the people eagerly awaiting the mystical results to come out of the chimney. Black means no results, white means there is a new pope. There is nothing on the books about pink glitter. It might shake things up a bit. How cool would that be? Chaos all around, while I smile to myself in all my invisible glory. Still not mean, it’s only glitter.

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