Thursday, March 21, 2013

Cannibal Cop

A New York policeman was recently convicted of conspiring to kidnap, rape, torture, kill and then eat women. Eat what a psycho. Talk about your war on women! For starters, it seems like a waste to cook a whole person for just one guy to eat. A human body seems more like party fare, or perhaps Thanksgiving dinner. However, he probably couldn’t fool people with the “interesting’ drumsticks. My mom tried to serve us rabbit one time, telling us it was chicken. The drumsticks tipped us off that she was fibbing. It seems to me that police officer applicants go through psychological screening before being hired. How did this guy slip through the cracks?

Q - How do you feel about working with women?

A- I'd rather eat them.

Q - Can you work well with a partner?

A - Guys? Yes. Women? I’d rather eat them.

Q - If we hire you, what can you bring to the table?

A - A knife and fork and a woman to eat.

This guy had statistics on some women. One of the things he noted was bra size. I’m not sure if he preferred busty or flat-chested meals. Maybe this was important to the mathematical equation of how big of a pot to use. Extra boobage could upset the whole process. I wonder what type of seasonings he had in mind. What beverage goes with Fricasseed Female? Red, white or perhaps a nice dessert wine? Potatoes or rice? So glad this guy is going to be locked away. I hope he will be assigned to license plate or laundry detail and not kitchen duty. He just might be forced to look at men a whole new way... Baked or fried?

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