Friday, March 15, 2013
My self-esteem took a bit hit this last week - in my dreams. I’m not sure why this happened, but I really don’t need it. Viewing myself in a positive manner has been a life-long struggle. I try to work on it, but have a long, long way to go. I really don’t want to worry about being a downer in my dreams. As it is, my dreams are populated with bizarre scenarios that rarely make sense. I don’t want to start dreading bedtime. In the first bad dream, I came out of store dressing room wearing spandex leggings. I looked in a full-length mirror (undoubtedly lit by harsh lighting) and was horrified to see cellulite from my waist down to my ankles. The craters were so huge you could see them through my pants. They could probably be seen from space. The next night, I dreamed I was driving my car across the softball field at my old high school. The fact that I was driving there didn’t strike me as odd. Up ahead I saw a guy I’d gone all through school with. Before I could grab an Altoid out of the console of my car, he came up to my window and kissed me hello. Then, I apologized for my breath. Weird. Last night I dreamed I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was thinning out. You could see my scalp all over the place. This dream, at least, made sense. Before bed, I had been petting our dog Lucy, whose fur is getting really, really thin. I guess I was the human equivalent of her in my dream. So in a week’s time, my dream personae has had horrible cellulite, bad breath, and is going bald. I woke up depressed and feeling not-so-pretty. It’s hard enough to work on changing my outlook when I’m awake. Do I also have to fix myself in my dreams? No wonder I wake up exhausted. Damn! I’m my own parallel universe. What’s in store for me tonight? I’ve had terrible allergies this week - itchy eyes and a plugged up nose. I’ve been sleeping with my mouth gaping open, making gawd awful noises. Perhaps tonight’s movie in my head will tackle the unattractive sounds. Maybe I will be wearing a Zorro mask over my itchy eyes and have a tuba for a nose. Zzzz...honk.