Saturday, May 26, 2012

Slow Motion Crash & Burn

Today I worked in the yard. I was standing on my raised rockery, pulling wild grass when I lost my footing. So, why is it, when we are in dire physical peril, time defaults to slow motion? I started to fall, then twisted and turned, eventually doing a backwards roll down onto my neighbor’s lawn. I immediately jumped up, with a forced laugh. Ha ha ha! I meant to do that! Actually, as I was slowing falling, I had a memory flash from about 12 years ago. I was at my daughter’s soccer game. The other team had not shown up, so the parents decided it would be fun to have our girls play each other, with a few parents sprinkled in. I was somehow cajoled into playing. Up to that point, the only soccer I had played was in my mind as I watched Molly. My feet would kind of spaz out, as I tried to help (from my seat in the stands). So, there I was, down on the field with a bunch of seasoned twelve year-olds. At some point, the ball came towards me. OMG! Nobody was around...and the goal was nearby. I started to run at the ball, taking giant steps. This was my big moment! Then, as I got closer to the ball, my knees slowly buckled. I kind of melted into the ground, ending up flat on my back. I tried to act dead, and hoped everyone would just leave and go home. To my dismay, they all came around to see if I was OK. I wasn’t hurt, but if you could die of embarrassment, I would have gotten my death wish. Molly still laughs about my brush with athletics. I have secretly harbored a lifelong desire to be a prodigy the first time I try a sport. So far, golf, skiing, softball and tennis have gone prodigy-free. I think I can just write off that fantasy, unless there is such a thing as an imagination prodigy. It may not be a sport, but I think I got that one covered.

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