Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Freckles, Speckles And Barnacles
Today I went to the dermatologist to have a little eruption on my nose checked out. I go through this process every year or two, when the thingy on my nose shows up. My doctor froze the spot, as usual, and checked out other specks, spots, and freckles on the old bod. My face had some new “maturity spots”, heretofore known as age spots. I was particularly interested in a rough circle on my back. Dr. F said it was a barnacle. A barnacle, seriously? What am I... a rusty old boat? I would expect something like that to grow on my butt, but not my back. I was starting to feel not-so-pretty, then remembered the last time I visited Dr. F. There was a man in the waiting room with a small grape-sized thing growing below his left nostril. I felt bad for him, and tried not to stare, but damn... I would run screaming into the street if I had to see that thing looking back at me from the mirror. Before I moved from Salt Lake City to Seattle twenty years ago, I visited my dermatologist. When that doctor saw me in his office, he practically kissed me. He said he was so glad to see a young person, as most of his patients were elderly. Even though I’m twenty years closer to the elderly category, I should feel like a goddess. I may have barnacles and maturity spots. At least I don’t have a grape growing out of my nose. Not yet anyhow.