Sunday, June 23, 2013

Just Can't Put This Behind Me

Aside from being horrified at the gawdawful name Kim Kardashian has bestowed on her baby girl, I was feeling a sense of relief that maybe all the hoopla was over for a while. Then I went grocery shopping. There had to be at least four different magazines/filthy rags at the checkout stand with stories related to the birth. The baby is only a few days old. Enough already! Kanye West was present at the birth, Kanye West was NOT present at the birth, Kim refused doctor’s orders to take off her high heels, Kim won’t breast feed since her body has already been through enough, Kim was a “Delivery Room Diva”. Sheesh! Who knows if there is a grain of truth in any of the stories? If Kim Kardashian is human (the jury is still out on that one), she was probably scared and did what her doctors and nurses directed her to do. That doesn’t make for a very good story, though. I saw a blurry photo of her grimacing, purportedly during childbirth. This reminded me of something no one can dispute - Kim Kardashian is the World’s Ugliest Crier. Seriously. She looks like she just tasted ear wax, and smelled a fart while being jabbed in the neck with a hat pin. Years ago, probably before the 1970’s, movies used to allude to a sexual encounter by showing fireworks, or scenes of beauty. I think the media who record Kim Kardashian’s every movement need to come up with a euphemism for her crying. That way we won’t have to suffer at the sight of the real thing. Maybe we could see a car with a flat tire, a puppy with a sore paw, or an empty cookie jar. Anything but the ear wax face. One magazine showed a photo of Kim next to a photo of Princess Kate Middleton. Oh puhleez! I certainly hope the British don’t think Americans see the Kardashians as our royalty. That’s just too damn embarrassing a thought. I know I need to put this behind me, but it’s really hard. I wonder if I could grocery shop blindfolded. It might come down to that...

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