Saturday, October 13, 2012
Weight Loss Challenge
A few years ago, I went to the first night of a 12-week weight loss challenge. I also went to the last night of a 12-week weight loss challenge. A good time was not had by all. I had to stand in line with strangers in a church basement, get weighed, and have my butt and other parts measured by a trainer. If that wasn’t bad enough, another trainer was there with a clipboard to write down the big numbers. I sat down, thinking the hardest part was over with. Wrong. We all then had to be photographed standing against a fake wood-paneled wall - facing the camera, then standing sideways. I like to think of it as a full body mug shot. We were supposed to be excited by this, as these were our "before" photos. The seminar leader started her schpiel, and brought out a horn and honked it. Turns out that was to be our reward when we did something good. A honk...oh joy. She kept saying, “I know this is going to be a fun group!”. Looking around the room, I didn’t see a fun group. I saw a ragtag group of disheartened people who seemed as unthrilled as I was to be there. At the end of the session, we were told to sign up for our one-on-one appointment during the next week at the leader's home office. This was to discuss our body type, individual plan, etc. From the moment I walked into the church basement, I had the urge to turn and run. I toughed it out, and made it almost to the end. I even made it past the discussion of the reward honk. For some reason, though, the one-on-one appointment was the last straw. It was like in the "Cheers" episode when Norm found out there would be no beer at the lodge meetings. He threw down his turban and said something like "I'm outta here!". When my meeting ended, I told the leader this wasn't for me and asked for my money back. Then I turned tail and walked briskly to my car. In my head, though, I threw down my turban and ran.