Sunday, October 7, 2012

I'm A Dinosaur

I have been contemplating getting an iPhone. The last time I bought a new cell phone, I decided it was time to officially step into the 21st century. It may have been 2010, but better late than never. I bought a touch-screen phone, and at my daughter’s urging, tried to “just play with it”. When it comes to electronic devices, I don’t play well. I get frustrated, scream and yell, and want to throw stuff. It was clear the first night that I was out of my league. The next day, I tested out the new phone as I watched Molly’s soccer game. I called my sister, but nobody was home. I left a voicemail and disconnected the call. Or at least I tried to disconnect. No matter what I did, my phone would not end the call. I was pacing back and forth, and touching my phone all over the place. I poked it, smacked it, stroked it, and even shook it like an Etch-A-Sketch. Nothing happened. After about 4 minutes, I did something right and the call ended. Oh joy...oh rapture! I felt like I had single-handedly landed on the moon. I know how long it took me to disconnect because my sister called me back. She said she had a 4 minute voicemail of me swearing and muttering. She thought it was funny, but I was embarrassed. My sister encouraged me to return the new phone. There was no reason to keep it if I was that unhappy. So, that’s what I did. The bad phone went back the next day and I purchased a slider phone with a little keyboard. There is nothing fancy about it which works just fine for me. I feel like a dinosaur every time I get an email that says “Sent from my iPhone”. Pondering what kind of dinosaur, I think I’m probably something slow-moving with big feet, like a stegosaurus. No touch screens for me. I’d have to be a raptor to work an iPhone with my evil little claws. I don’t have the strength to tackle learning a new phone right now. Check back in about 10 years. I’ll be off grazing on a palm tree.

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