Clipboard People

I think peep holes in doors are the best invention, next to flush toilets, the Internet, TV, and mechanical pencils. They are the front door version of caller ID. When my doorbell rings, I never open the door without a look through the peep hole first. Before I had dogs, I would tippy-toe to the door and check out who was there. We have squeaky hardwood floors, so there was a need for stealth. Now that I have three dogs, mayhem ensues whenever the doorbell rings. It’s all I can do to get to the peep hole. Surely anyone on the other side of the door has to have a really, really good reason for braving all the snarling and barking. My personal front door rule is this: I never open the door to anyone with a clipboard. Not no way, not no how. I don’t sign petitions, and am not interested in buying stuff. Plus, I don’t really trust people who go door-to-door. People selling religion are easy to spot, as they come in groups. They might as well be armed with a boatload of clipboards. My door will NEVER open for them. Then there is the guilt factor. I used to get sucked in by a sob story of why someone was collecting funds. It was easier to give money to make them go away. Political people had a way of shaming me into listening to their spiel. I resented how easily I was manipulated, so now the door stays shut. I have been known to see people going door-to-door when I’m returning from a walk with my dogs. Poor little creatures (my dogs, not the people). My dogs have no idea why they are suddenly being dragged post haste toward the back yard. So all you clipboard people out there... just keep walking. There’s nothing for you here.