Thursday, August 9, 2012

Shark Week

This Sunday marks the start of the Discovery Channel’s 25th year of Shark Week. I just don’t get it. 25 years... who knew? Twenty five years ago, I was pregnant with my daughter, Molly. I had also just attended my 15th high school reunion. Little did I know that while all this exciting stuff was happening, Shark Week was being born. I have always been terrified by sharks. I’m not sure why. I grew up in Utah. You can’t get more land locked than that. I seriously doubt there have been many shark attacks there. Still, that didn’t ease my fears. In 1975, I saw the movie “Jaws” as a sneak preview. Because it was a sneak, I didn’t know anything about the movie ahead of time. Boy, was I in for a surprise! After that, I didn’t want to flush the toilet for fear of a great white shark attack in my bathroom. Any liquid was suspect. I remember being repulsed by a can of clam chowder soup - too close to the sea I guess. I admit I haven’t watched any of the Shark Week shows, nor do I intend to. That being said...WTF??? On commercials, you see sharks jumping out of the water, multiple rows of pointy teeth exposed, eyes dead. Sooo creepy! I assume the Shark Week shows include guys who go underwater in cages to be with the sharks. They deserve to be eaten. Seriously! As much as I dislike sharks, putting food in a cage in front of them is just plain mean. So, I have an alternative to Shark Week. How about featuring other animals for a week, animals that are not predators who can rip a person apart and eat them? All you crocs and alligators out there need not apply. There could be Raccoon Sunday, Hedgehog Monday, Duckbill Platypus Tuesday, Otter Wednesday, Lop-Eared Bunny Thursday, Hummingbird Friday, and Kitten & Puppy Saturday. A week of nice and cuddly couldn’t hurt, right? A Cutesy Animal Week would counteract Shark Week. Sounds like a plan to me.

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