Saturday, June 9, 2012

Tennis Elbow

Thursday, my husband was the victim of a hit-and-run driver. Rick called me as I was driving home from work to say a flatbed truck had hit his car. The driver got so close when trying to pass him, that he scraped and dented Rick’s car. Bad Driver also hit Rick’s elbow (resting on his open window) before taking off the side mirror. Then he sped off, as cowardly creeps do. Rick followed him, and got his license plate number. Then he drove to Swedish Ballard Hospital ER. I showed up a little while later with a fresh shirt to replace the one covered with blood. Rick’s elbow wasn’t broken, but was severely bruised and extremely swollen. When I saw his elbow, it reminded me of a boa constrictor that had just swallowed a pig. Rick’s wound looked like someone had pulled his skin over a tennis ball. Is this what they mean by “tennis elbow”? The doctor asked Rick to rate his pain from 1 to 10. Rick said it was a 3. I said mine was a 6, just looking at it. Nobody cared what my vote was, but I gotta be me. That poor, banged up elbow wasn’t getting nearly enough sympathy. I was appalled that someone had done this, and run away. I really wanted to give Bad Driver a tennis elbow of his own, and maybe a baseball head, croquet ball nose, and perhaps bowling ball knee caps. Good thing I’m not a violent person. In my imagination, though, I’m the Terminator, Godzilla, and a crew of zombies rolled into one. We found out that this was Bad Driver’s third hit-and-run accident. Three...count ‘em... three! OMG! How is it possible to do this three times and not be in jail??? The police wouldn’t give Rick the guy’s name. Maybe they could read my mind from afar. Anyway, it’s been referred to the Hit and Run Squad. Too bad there is a need for such a department. Updates to follow...

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