Saturday, June 23, 2012

Chatting Up My Appliances

I talked to the vacuum today. I had been cleaning the house and was trying to move the canister vacuum past some bins temporarily sitting in my dining room. Without thinking I said “Come on!”. Not angrily, but with a coaxing lilt to my voice. After I realized I was talking to an appliance, I reviewed possible reasons why this had occurred. The first reason, of course, was that I was losing my mind. This thought occurs to me daily, and the jury is still out. Then I thought I really needed to get more friends, since I seemed to be bonding with my vacuum. I was home alone except for my three dogs. Perhaps I was yearning for human companionship. My husband left for work early but I had seen him last night, so I doubt that was the reason. I finally decided it was due to my relationship with my dogs. Let me explain. I don’t consider them as animals. They are my furry, yappy, and sometimes smelly children. Hey, if the Supreme Court says corporations are people then I can say my pets are people too. I talk to them all the time, no matter where we are and they don’t seem to mind. I have to drag Lucy much of the time when we walk. I dislike doing that, but it’s the only thing that gets her moving. I believe when I was dragging my vacuum past the bins, I went into walking-the-dogs mode and automatically talked to it. That’s all I can figure. I didn’t offer it a treat, or anything silly like that. Just a little chat. Totally innocent. So, yah I’m not crazy. Nope. I have a date next weekend with the coffee maker, though. We’re going shoe shopping.

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