Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Chore Guidelines

I was walking down the hallway in my house the other day, and saw something moving on the floor alongside me. I freaked out, assuming it was a spider the size of one of my dogs. Luckily, it was only a dust bunny (the size of one of my dogs). I believe it’s time to set up some guidelines on when to do chores, as obviously things have gone downhill. Here goes…

Vacuuming – When dust bunnies, or dust tumbleweeds get big enough to move on their own power throughout the house, it’s time to vacuum. When the dogs eat dirt blobs, because they think a rump roast has fallen off someone’s plate, it’s high time to vacuum.

Washing the dishes – When people use serving spoons, melon ballers, or those weird little butter-scooping spoons because all the other ones are dirty, it’s time to wash the dishes. If people are using corn skewers as forks, it’s gone beyond wash time. When our vintage Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cups emerge from the deepest, darkest reaches of the cupboard, it’s waaaay beyond wash time.

Laundry – If the dogs steal underpants and socks from the dirty laundry, it’s time to get the sorted piles of clothes into the washing machine. Back in our renting days, I was known to buy new underwear in order to put off my next to visit the laundromat. I was so thrilled when we bought our first washer and dryer, I sent out birth announcements. To this day, I try not to complain about doing laundry. The nasty laundromat experience is still fresh in my mind. When we first moved into our current house, the laundry chute was a big deal. Ben quite enjoyed tossing Molly’s Barbie dolls down the chute. It made doing the laundry much more interesting, never knowing what I would find. Nowadays, I might see an iPod or cell phone mixed in with the dirty clothes. Laundry treasure has certainly gone up in value. These little surprises add mystery to the mundane tasks in life. I'll take all the help I can get.

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