Thursday, May 23, 2013

To Sleep Or Not To Sleep

I don’t know what to do with my arms when I go to sleep. I lay down, get my covers arranged and then try to figure out where to put my arms. I sleep on my side in a fetal position - apparently a fetus with long, gangly arms. I put one arm kind of over my face... not comfortable. Then I try over my head. No. How about underneath me? Not so much. I twist and turn, and switch sides. Funny thing though. I have the same dilemma on the other side as well. After tossing and turning, I finally come to some sort of twisted positioning that works... until I need to get up in the night, that is. Then the process starts all over. I also have an issue with darkness, or rather the lack of it. Ideally, I need total darkness to sleep undisturbed. When it’s windy outside, the neighbor’s motion-sensitive porch light goes on and off all night. That doesn’t work for my uber-sensitive eyes. I have a little strip of fleece that I put over my eyes when light starts to creep in (damn you, sunlight!). It’s kind of like the poor man’s Hollywood Beauty Mask. I just tuck the fleece behind each ear and I’m good to go (to sleep that is). My mom must have had the same affliction. Her fix for it was to use a maroon knee sock. Between the knee sock around her eyes, and toilet paper wrapped around her hairdo, she was quite a sight. But hey, she slept well. The only problem I find with my little piece of fleece is that it can leave a crease or two on my face. It sometimes looks as though I slept on the heat register, or was mauled by a bear. Take your pick. I guess it wouldn’t take much to torture information out of me. Just turn a 60 watt lightbulb in my direction, and I’d spill my guts. Or force me to sleep on my back, arms at my side, and I’d tell you anything you want to know and then some. Guess I’ll scratch International Spy off my To Do List.

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