Please Ignore Me

I am seldom right. Just ask my kids. And when I’m wrong about something, I’m bold about it. Not that I do it on purpose. It’s as though Fate follows me around, stalking me, to make sure my predictions or observations are smacked down. Immediately. For example, years ago we were at a restaurant waiting to be seated. My son put some change in one of those claw machines. At the very moment I was saying “You’ve wasted your money. Those things are rigged. They NEVER work!” the claw picked up the targeted stuffed animal and dropped it down the hole. I was amazed. I had truly believed in my own wisdom. Go figure. Another time I was about to drive past a guy begging for money on a street corner. I told my daughter “People NEVER give these guys money” as the car in front of me stopped to do just that. Wrong again. Back in the early 1980s, we bought our first VCR. I remember thinking it was a frivolous piece of electronics. I think I actually said out loud “Why would anyone want to watch a movie in their home, instead of on a big screen at the movie theater? This will NEVER catch on.” I also predicted the end of Reality TV after the first season. I just couldn’t see it being a popular trend, and assumed it was just a passing fancy. I would like it to go away (are you listening, Honey BooBoo?) but it’s probably here to stay. At some point, I also might have mentioned how silly and extravagant cell phones were. Hmmm... If I had lived 90 years ago, I probably would have been one of those people who pooh-poohed talking movies. Maybe my advice and predictions reflect how I want the world to be, rather than how it really is. I guess it’s good nobody pays attention to my predictions. If they ever do, we’re all in trouble.