Gobble Gobble

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and I’m frantically trying to get the smell of yesterday’s turkey dinner out of my house. It’s a good smell at dinner time, but in the morning? Not so much. I’m not a big fan of turkey, or any meat for that matter. I don’t crave it. If I could, I would live on pastries and vanilla lattes. I would also weigh 500 pounds and be unable to get off my couch. Every Thanksgiving, I get out my cookbooks and tried-and-true recipes. None of the process seems familiar. I struggle every year to complete an edible thousand course meal in a timely manner. I still haven’t figured out how to get so many items cooked at different temperatures using one oven. Do the math... it doesn’t add up. The pressure on me is enormous, and I’m not sure why. It’s not like the future of the free world rests on my culinary skills (even though that’s what it feels like). So far, nobody has died after eating at my table. Last night’s dinner turned out fine. I know I will do the same thing next year, with the same level of angst. I have a friend who never eats turkey on Thursdays. I’m not sure why but I find it interesting. Earlier in the week I saw a TV interview with a turkey farmer. There was a huge building with what seemed like miles and miles of turkeys milling around inside. All the turkeys were white and ugly as hell. They looked nothing like the black and gray ones with red heads that you think of when someone says “turkey”. Does this mean the white, plain turkeys at the farm were females? I know little about birds, but I believe the females are usually plain while the males are the fancy ones. Take peacocks, for instance. They are male and flamboyant. The peahens are plain Janes and probably never got asked to dance at high school sock hops. Roosters have that awesome red comb and strut and crow all over the place. Hens just hang out back in the henhouse, blending into the background. Maybe next year I will opt for an all pastry Thanksgiving feast, and give the turkeys a break. At least one turkey girl could go on to live another homely day. It would be my good deed for the holiday season... delicious too!