Thursday, May 15, 2014


I was sitting on the toilet the other day, as one does. I was watching a tiny ant wander around. What a dummy! He was a sugar ant, and should have been wandering around my kitchen. His tiny any GPS was obviously broken. He also had a bunch of friends who were also lost. Our bathroom seems to be the new haunt for these guys. As I watched the dumb ant wander, from my perch on the toilet, I stomped my foot near him. This did not deter him. He was headed straight for my foot. I now started to think he was seriously demented, or maybe suicidal. I’ve never been one to step on bugs, or squish them in a kleenex. I’m more of a scooper-into-the-toilet-with-several-kleenexes kind of killing machine. Growing up, if I found a spider, I would either put a glass over it or suck it up in the vacuum.Then, I would shove a kleenex into the end of the vacuum hose in case the spider lived through the suckage. My poor mom would usually be the one to find my spider traps. She was a trooper, and not afraid of bugs. I always thought that skill came with becoming a mother. I was wrong. Or else maybe my Motherhood membership card got lost. Anyway, back in my bathroom watching the wayward sugar ant... I got tired of trying to see where he and his friends were coming from. He was dispatched when I flushed, and I said a prayer for his teeny soul. Ok, I’m lying, but I did feel a little bit mean. I just can’t share my living space with bugs. This is one reason I never bonded with camping. Since my knee surgery, I have been sleeping on the couch. It works out much better for moaning, or getting up in the night for ice packs. Last night, I happened to notice some sort of bug directly above the couch. I didn’t have my glasses on, but it looked like a slow-moving, non-biting kind of bug. If it had been a spider, I would have had to holler to Rick to get out of bed and come get rid of it. The bug finally moved on, to parts unknown. As far as I know, it did not fall off the wall in the night and onto my sleeping self. I found no random legs or antennae this morning. A definite good start to my day!

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