A New Toaster

Our toaster died on Friday, so on Saturday I went in search of a new one. I armed myself with several store coupons and headed out to the mall. I was on a serious mission. My first stop was Bed Bath & Beyond. It was hard not to be distracted by the huge amount of merchandise. I saw some “as seen on TV” stuff, which included the 3-Way Poncho with Suzanne Somers on the package. The TV commercial for the poncho almost caused my husband to get whiplash as he wandered into the kitchen one night. A sultry voice saying the words “3 Way”. Too bad for him it was just a fat-hiding hunk of material. But I digress. While perusing the aisles at BB&B, I found a 20% off coupon on the floor. I ended up buying a bath mat and using the found coupon. Score! I wonder if I will start to get coupons in the mail addressed to somebody named Omari. Hmmm. My next stop was Macy’s. As I headed to the toaster area, I was waylaid by an aggressive saleswoman. She was demonstrating Nespresso coffee machines and was insistent that I listen to her schpiel. I declined, but she did a body block and opened a little drawer in her display to show me all the colorful little coffee pods. I said no again, and had to step around her to get away. Sheesh! My final destination was JC Penney. I went downstairs to Housewares and spotted the toasters. Unfortunately, there was an old guy wearing Duck Dynasty camo pants blocking my view. He was looking very intently at each toaster... slowly, ever-so-slowly. By this time, I didn’t want to play any more. I just wanted a damn toaster. Camo Pants Guy kept looking at me, like he wanted to discuss the choices we both faced. Due to not wanting to bond, I was forced to quickly make my choice. When I left to pay, Camo Pants Guy was still looking at the toasters. Maybe he just wanted a new best friend but it wasn’t going to be me. In hind sight, I should have told CPG that Macy’s had AWESOME toasters, as well as a very eager saleswoman nearby who could answer all his questions. Tee hee...