Pandemic Hair

I snagged the last available appointment the day my barbershop closed its doors. Little did I know it would be a very long while before my next haircut. As I write this, we are more than two months out. I have (er… had) very short hair, fashionably sticky-up on top. Currently my hairdo is careening from Kramer (“Seinfeld”) into Marge Simpson territory. I have kept my sideburns trimmed using little nail scissors. I can do that much without doing too much harm. I had my husband shave my neck with our electric clippers. He did a mostly efficient job, except for being a bit too vigorous. But hey, the red marks on my neck have finally healed! I clipped his hair, and did an adequate job. I’m not sure if he isn’t that picky or if I just had beginner’s luck. Needless to say, I’m not going to get cocky and think I know what I’m doing the next time. Bad things can happen that way. Case in point - Stella, my little Yorkie. She was in serious need of grooming. I knew the clippers would terrify her, so I trimmed her with some small scissors. I tried to emulate how my stylist cuts my hair. After a while, I got tired and figured I might be trying too hard. She was just a dog, right? Wrong. The best I can say is that I didn’t stab her or draw blood. Her overall haircut looks very choppy. I have no idea when the groomer will be open for business. Hopefully, there’s a little more time for my handiwork to fill in a bit. During this time, I’ve noticed something weird about the men on TV (reporters, commentators & government officials). Their hair is longer than usual, but they have also grown beards. Why can’t they shave their own faces? Is shaving such a pain that they are enjoying the freedom to be scruffy? I haven’t had eyebrow/lip service in a couple months. Unlike men with beards, if I appear with a mustache, it won’t be on purpose. Times are tough for EVERYBODY right now. Hairstyling is not a big deal. Still, I would totally stalk my hairdresser if I knew where she lived. Umm… is stalking still a crime???