Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Naked And Afraid

I saw a TV commercial for the upcoming season of “Naked and Afraid” on The Discovery Channel. What is up with these people? Shark Week isn’t enough stomach-clenching action for them? They feel the need to bump it up to the Next Level? On the commercial were scenes of sharp pointy things in the jungle, snakes, and deadly looking spiders hanging out in their webs. There was also a scene of a squishy-looking man on a stretcher, being whisked away from all the danger (still naked, only wearing the straps that were holding him on the stretcher). I think the term “naked and afraid” should apply to the poor ambulance attendants having to treat the nudie guy. That’s what rubber gloves were invented for. I believe the man and woman on each episode are strangers to each other. Hmmm... way to break the ice. Whenever I contemplate what it would actually be like to participate in this show, the bottoms of my feet hurt. No shoes... just shoot me. Forget about getting naked in front of my stranger partner, camera crew, medical crew standing by, and various dangerous insects and animals. I wouldn’t make it three yards without shoes. I have very tender feet. I won’t address the nakedness, as that is too horrific to contemplate. Buns and underarms flapping in the breeze, cellulite on view to the world. No way. The most horrific element on the new TV commercial was at the end. The two contestants jump on surf boards and paddle like crazy, supposedly in shark-infested waters. I would think a naked man wouldn’t want to have his dangly bits anywhere near rows of sharp teeth. The Discovery Channel needs counseling. On one big giant couch, to see why they keep coming up with these shows. Then again, there must be a need they are filling. Maybe the screwed up people are the viewers. Good to know I’m not one of them. I can sit in judgement, fully clothed, shoes and socks intact. Sounds like this stupid TV show fills a need I have after all. And I don’t even have to watch it.

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