Uptown Saturday Night

My husband and I had quite the adventure Saturday night. For sure it was more exciting than our usual evenings parked in front of the TV with our dogs. A friend of Rick’s was in a play, so we bought tickets and headed out for a night of culture and fun. We got to the theater with a few minutes to spare. The first interesting thing I noticed was a giant transvestite outside the door. This man had to be about 6’5’’ in his giant wedgie high heels. I didn’t catch what was in between the heels and his leather hat because I was focused on the plunging-neckline of his tank top. He was so large, his cleavage was eye level. We went inside the place, and I saw a sign that read “$1 Ear Plugs”. Not a good beginning to the festivities. This theater seemed like a combination pool hall, bar, and cabaret. It was very dark inside, and the music was extremely loud. Those $1 ear plugs were starting to look pretty good. The crowd was mostly men, with a few women sprinkled in. Quite a few people were in costume. I saw a man wearing white from head to toe, with his body covered in white stuffed animals - possibly lambs or sheep. I’ve never felt so awkwardly normal in my life. I’m sure Rick and I stood out like sore thumbs. The inside of the theater was very smokey. It wasn’t cigarette smoke, but some kind of smelly mist. Rick lasted about two minutes before he started having breathing problems. So we left. We headed home, hoping Rick’s friend would understand why we didn’t stay for the play. We both needed to use my inhaler when we got to the house. Then it was back to the couch, the TV, and the dogs. Just like nothing had happened. It was just a hiccup in our routine, with an enormous transvestite and stinky smoke thrown into the mix.