Hasta La Vista, Mayans

Tomorrow, December 21, 2012 marks the end of the Mayan calendar. I’m still puzzled why this is occurring now but I plan on being here in the morning. Plus, it’s Friday (my favorite day of the week) and Pay Day. I even took a chance and finished my Christmas shopping. I don’t know if the Mayans truly thought the World As We Know It would actually end tomorrow. Here are some theories why the Mayan calendar is ending:

• Mayans ran out of office supplies. 
• Mayans ran out of room on whatever surface they wrote or carved their calendars on. 
• Mayan’s pencil broke. 
• Head Calendar Dude lost interest, changed jobs, or died. 
• Mayans figured everything would be digital by now. 
• Mayans could only count up to 2,012. 

In the event The End really is nigh, I’d like to say sorry to those people I drenched when I drove into a large puddle in 1983. Also, sorry to my 6th grade teacher for drawing an amazingly lifelike picture of her. I meant no harm. Well, actually, I didn’t mean to get caught and have my drawing confiscated. My bad. I regret not mastering riding my unicycle, or learning how to moon walk. Oh, and one more thing... If we’re all still here tomorrow as I expect we will be, never mind.