Thursday, May 30, 2013

Ho's

Yesterday, I noticed a new billboard across from my office. There was a photo of a sultry, beautiful woman who was snuggling up to a man in a suit. The words said something like “Meet your new best friend - JO”. There were some other words on the billboard, but I couldn’t read them. I went to an office that faced the sign to see if I could get a better view. Someone had binoculars, and read the entire sign to me. Turns out it was a billboard for a sex toy/lingerie store called “Lover’s Package”. When I first viewed the JO sign, I thought it was an advertisement taken out by a local ho. My office sits on Pac Highway, a well-known spot for hookers. The Green River Killer shopped for his victims on this street. I have seen some strange things around our building. A guy was hanging out in the bushes one day, and we had a bird’s eye view of the security guy coaxing him to relocate. I’ve seen panhandlers and a couple of hookers, so I know it’s not a myth about being a sleazy area. We have a large parking lot, and have seen quite a few cars gyrating in place. Years ago, a very straight-laced man dropped off his very straight-laced wife at our office. As he left, he pulled up to a stop light. A woman was waiting at the corner, so he motioned her to cross. Instead, she jumped in his car. She was a ho, and he was in major shock. I’m surprised he didn’t drop dead right there. All these years later it’s still funny to me, but I doubt the man found it so. Tee hee. I used to fantasize that if I ever had to go into Witness Protection, I would either hide out as a hooker or a nun. In my mind, either extreme was totally no place anyone would think to look for me. Thinking about it realistically, though, I would have to go with the nun-hood. Being a ho is not an option. Realistically... like I will ever need a plan for Witness Protection.

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